Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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