Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
