We named our party play list daddy issues
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
