Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize