just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
