Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
