So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
