Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
