Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
His nipple licking is glorious
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