cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
