Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
