I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
