Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
it glows. i had to have it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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