last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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