im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
