Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We are all done wearing pants today
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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