You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
