Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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