meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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