Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
