And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
they need to just BURY HIM!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Panties = found
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