look no pants
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
