At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
