Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
