Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
