i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need to calm my uterus...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
