carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
