I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
