At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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