Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
