we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
