i just made my gag reflex go away.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize