I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you have to choose: penises or morals?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
