Midget sex pt 2 tonight
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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