Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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