You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
