He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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