hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
