i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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