Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
