It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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