Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
