Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
