absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
