when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love you.
Bad choice
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
