Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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