Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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