Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
