Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
