yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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