Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
