The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
