I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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